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Thursday, March 31, 2005
~ 10:10 PM ~
I am in despair.
I do not know what to do.
Life is getting worse everyday.
I am now known as the arrogant.
Arrogance? I never sought to acheive it.
All I wanted to do is share my knowledge.
Think: what else can I talk to others about?
I cannot just entertain people with the lame jokes.
Thus I begun a quest of acquiring and transferring knowledge.
Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Further Mathermatics.
Even things I never thought I would understand, I read them.
Then I teach them.
Then they say I know many.
A lot, I added, A bit more.
Human parrots I hate, I said.
whose brains are only used for taking information.
They listen in fear, and shook their heads. Birds, I thought.
Arrogant! They said. How arrogant you are! Clever but arrogant.
I tried to argue. No. People cannot accept my ideas. Mine disturbs them.
I declared to the people: Think and be human. Parrot is a bad vocation.
They chirped and pecked at my tablet of values, reciting their own script.
A script they have long memorised and repeated for a hundred times or more.
I asked myself : Why do they only speak of their master?
My answer was: They only can accept one script. Others are rejected as wrong.
I laughed, and shared my knowledge with the untrained parrots. Young ones.
I hoped. A fool's hope. They would understand and think. And despise the brainless.
A fool's hope it was indeed. Now they parrot my thoughts of intellect. I have failed. Sharing of knowledge had now become the sharing of information.
Here I am. Arrogant to all. May you realise the reason why.
(PS: I also suffer from mild autism in the past and the sudden liberation of the soul may bring in arrogance. External factors mentioned are part of the reasons and not all. Please do not be demoralised by the implications.)
